Larry’s Log

I’ve been listening to a lot of people complaining about the way the Christian church treats women in the marriage vows. I’ve also been listening to people who want to use the words of the Apostle Paul to support men domineering women in a marriage. Let me say, after considerable study, both groups are wrong.

Let’s look at the verses most often cited on both sides of this argument for a minute. Paul, in Ephesians chapter five, verses twenty-two through twenty-four had this to say:

Ephesians 5:22-24²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.
²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Now with these verses taken by themselves I can agree that it doesn’t sound like a very good deal for women. However, some verses have been left out. Let’s look at the passage in context:

Ephesians 5:21-33²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.
²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
²⁹ After all, no-one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–
³⁰ for we are members of his body.
³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
³² This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church.
³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Now in this full context we see that this isn’t just a directive for women, it’s a directive for women and men in a marriage. The verses, in context, do not command men to force submision in women, but rather directs husbands to love their wives. This directive of love is very explicit in how a husband is to love his wife.

Paul is placing a huge burden on men and only directing women to allow their husbands to live up to this directive. This submission that Paul is talking about isn’t a submission by wives to their husband’s will, it’s a submission to their husband’s love. I fail to see a problem with this.

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