Goldurn whippersnappers.
I just read Dan’s entry about teenagers. It comes on the heels of a flight back from Philadelphia last night. A troupe of young teenage cheerleaders boarded the plane with their chaperones for a flight back to Atlanta with me. I was not too thrilled with the prospect of sharing the plane with around fifteen teenage girls but I was pleasantly surprised by how well I thought they behaved.
The woman behind me had a different take on their behavior and felt it necessary to let one of the chaperones who was sitting in front of me about how horrible manners these young ladies had. The plane had just stopped and her traveling companion jumped up to grab luggage from the overhead compartment, almost dropping two heavy bags on my head, and she then came up beside me to tell the chaperone sitting in front of me that her charges need to learn respect for their fellow passengers. I have no idea what she could have been talking about. These young ladies were talking and they were excited but they were nto being loud nor obnoxious. There was no running back and forth to the restroom by them and no yelling.
In giving the chaperone her opinion of the girl’s behavior she mentioned that she was a retired school administrator. I personally think she could have learned a lot about teenagers if she had gotten out of the office and into the halls and classrooms of the schools. Her expectations were certainly much higher than mine for young people’s behavior. I stopped her and told her so. I’ve been annoyed much more often by adults on the flights that I’ve been on than by these young ladies.
Between Dan’s observation about parents spending time with their children and showing interest in their activities and this retired school administrator’s attitude toward behavior it’s easy to understand the cause of teenage angst.
Society | Larry D. Burton | 19 February 2006 |
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By Felix Miller, 2/19/2006 @ 6:30 pm
Larry, I read both of the commentaries you cited, and I think you and your friend Dan have a better fix on the state of teenager behaviour than the SFGate writer, or the “school administrator.” The article in the paper focused on actions by teenagers who have all been in the world, in the care of their parents, for long enough to have some idea of decent behaviour, IF the parents were really involved with their children. I mean involved both as disciplinarians and as exemplars of decent, moderate behaviour. Rewarding the expression of good values, and pointing out (vigorously, if necessary) the unacceptable nature of wrong decisions and destructive actions.
I have seen close up the results of the contrary parenting, in affluent families, having raised two sons on Lookout Mountain, where examples of “affluenza” are rampant, but where many fine young people have grown to real maturity. I am proud to say that my sons turned out well. Not without setbacks, anxiety and occasional heartache, but they made successful journeys to adulthood. One thing they never had to worry about was indifference to anything in which they were involved, from their mother or from me. The parent who wanted to bail on the school activity if her son was not going to be on stage is not a model any parent should admire.
By gdc25, 2/20/2006 @ 12:13 pm
and what are your thoughts on the parent that choses to work overtime instead of attending said event?
My father worked every day from the time I was a Soph. until I graduated and I didn’t understand. Now I realize that he worked like a dog so that I could “party like it was 1999″.
I ask because my wife and I are currently discussing a very similar series of upcoming life events.
On a side note, I relized what he was doing when on the day after I graduated we piled in the car (heh! 1985 Chrysler New Yorker) and went on a 3 week long vacation. Hitting every state west of Mo. except Wash. and Texas. THEN!!! I understood.
By Larry D. Burton, 2/28/2006 @ 5:11 pm
Greg, I’m sorry it has taken me a bit to get back to your comment. I’ve been working some long hours and the only thing I’ve felt like doing is sleeping when I get off.
I made a choice when my sons were younger to remain at a job that paid a lot less than what I could have been making elsewhere because the job would allow me to be very involved with my son’s school and extracurricular activities. The only regrets I have about that is that maybe I could have put them in private schools had I taken the better paying jobs.
Life is a series of tradeoffs. If you are working the extra hours in order to pay for high-priced cars and other luxeries rather than to give something back to your kids then you might regret not spending that time with the kids when they were younger when they move out. If you are working the extra hours to afford the family a better life, not more luxurious, but better then the extra hours at work may be well worth not attending every ballgame or being at every school function.
At least the mother or the father needs to be at any parent/teacher meeting that they are afforded.