Bums
March 6th, 2006 by Larry D. Burton
Yesterday I stopped by the Panera Bread near my house to pick up some Assiago Cheese Bagels for my son. He’s crazy about those things.
As I got out of the truck in the parking lot a man approached me telling me he was out of gas and needed a couple of dollars to put gas in his gas can to carry back and put in his car so he could get home. Thinking, I told him to go get his gas can and I would drive him to the gas station, put gas in his can and bring him back. He took off around the building and quickly returned telling me his can would actually only hold about half a gallon and he didn’t want to put me out so if I could just give him some money…. By this time he was wanting $20 from me.
“No, I wouldn’t think of leaving him stranded like that with the half a mile walk to the gas station, hop on in my truck and I’ll take you there, buy you a two-gallon gas can and bring you back to put the fuel in your car”, I told him. Yes, I understand the dangers of giving strangers rides in your car but I was bigger than him and I felt that as long as I remained aware of his hands and was prepared to drive off the road and into a ditch if he tried anything funny I was safe enough. Besides I really didn’t believe he was going to take me up on the offer. He surprised me, he climbed into my truck.
I buckled up real tight and off we went to the gas station. On the ride there he told me he had $50 with him when he left his house but he managed to lose it somewhere. I sympathized with him and told him it would probably turn up when he really needed it.
We arrived at the gas station/convenience store and we went in. I grabbed a two gallon gas can and took it to the counter with him following me. When we got to the counter there were two men there and one of them began ringing up my purchase. The other man looked at my new found “friend” and said, “Hey, you! Didn’t I tell you never to come into my store again?”
My friend said nothing.
“Hey! I’m talking to you didn’t I tell you never to come into my store again?”
“Who? Me? I’ve never been in here in my life,” he said.
“Yes you have. You slept in my bathroom. You threatened to hit me. You stay right here I’m locking the door and calling the police.”
This continued on a few more minutes as this bum begging the man not to call the police as he inched closer and closer to the door until he was able flee. All along he was motioning for me to come along with him. I was standing at the counter, highly amused, just shaking my head “no”.
After he left the two men in the store told me about their dealings with this bum and I told him about him wanting gas for his car. According to them he didn’t even own a car, something I had suspected and was prepared for. I was going to insist on putting the gas in his car myself so I could keep my gas can. I wanted to see this out of gas car he had. Had he produced no car the gas was going in my truck.
I drove away from the station and saw him about a quarter of a mile away heading back toward where he and I had met. I went back to Panera Bread and bought the bagels for my son. I thought about hanging around for a few minutes outside to see if he would show back up there. I decided that might be a bad idea so I left and went home.
I figure that over the last ten years I’ve probably given $500 to bums. I’ve come to a decision that I will not give a bum money any more but I will try to find some non-monetary way to help them. Ya never know when help may truly be needed.
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I have a giving money to bums code. Said bum must work for whatever I’m going to give them.
Having said that, sitting on a curb shaking a cup does not qualify as work. However, blasting out a well played tune on a Saxiphone under the arts atrium does. As does playing a guitar, dancing or taking the time to come up with an outrageoulsy unbelivable lie about why he/she needs the money.
The guy in the parking lot at Wal-Mart that gave me the story about how he and his family were trying to get to Kentucky but their van broke down and he didn’t have the cash to feed his family and fix the vehicle. Now that was a lie worthy of a reward. After I gave him the $2.00 or so worth of change in my pocket (and he dissapeared) I walked across the parking lot to the van he pointed out. The Lady in the Van had never met the man and the van was in decent working order.
$2.00 worth of entertainment right there.
I have come to the same point as Larry. I try to support legitimate agencies that provide relief for the truly homeless, and screen their clients. I do not give money to anyone any more. Larry went much further than I would have ever done. Nobody gets into my car on the strength of some story like that.
A sort of reverse twist on Larry’s experience, not something that happened to me, but to an elder of a church here in Chattanooga, located downtown.
As the elder and his family were walking up to the church on Sunday, a raggedly dressed man approached him and asked for a dollar for some food. The elder, sure that the man was playing him, told him that no, he would not give him money, but if the man would wait, after church he was welcome to share lunch at a local cafeteria with the elder and his family, as their guest. The man looked crestfallen, but nodded and shuffled over to a bench. The elder went into church with his family, sure that the bum would be gone by the time church was over.
Much to his surprise, when the elder and his family emerged from chuch, there was the man, rising from the bench. An hour and a half had passed, and he had waited. Nothing for it but to keep his part of the bargain, so the elder took the man to lunch with his family. The bum ate very well.
I was sort of pushing things, Felix. He didn’t want to get into my car but I was determined that things were going to be done on my terms if he received help from me. I wanted him to understand that I was helping him because he needed help and not because I was intimidated by him.
I checked him over pretty good. He was wearing a tee shirt and nylon warmup pants. He wasn’t concealing any weapons that I could tell and I’m not a small man.
That’s something I’ve discovered about bums. They will wait you out. They have much more time to kill than you do. If you are going to run a bluff on a bum you better be prepared to go the distance with it. They don’t think about future consequences, only what they can BS themselves through at the moment.
Your Elder gave an angel a meal that day. I’m sure St. Peter will bring up that incident with him when they meet.